Tag Archives: creepy

the wonderful world of dating – part three

you think you finally met the perfect gentleman. but no, he’s just another thirsty man.

3. “i’m the smartest guy you will ever meet”

you think you have it all: a high paying career, very reputable alma mater, and the height of 6 rulers (or at least close to it). you may not even possess all of the said qualities, maybe just one or a good looking face, but for some reason you think you’re entitled to all the pssy in the world. well, i’m sorry to break it to you, but you need get over yourself.

after a meeting a guy, the end result will go in 1 of 3 ways: friend, relationship, or stranger. “friend” is just a genuinely nice guy who likes to meet new people regardless of intent. “relationship” is always the mystery man hidden among the many “friends” and “strangers”. and “stranger” is the one you wish you never met.

the men who fall into the “stranger” category are the type of guys who are nice to you up until the point you reject them. you better watch out because if you don’t put out, you just committed a hate crime. the act of respecting yourself will disgust them to the point where they just can’t bear to make eye contact and does everything and anything necessary to get you out of their presence.


the most common “smartest dumb” questions this genius will ask:

“what’s the real reason why you won’t sleep with me?”
seriously, do you really expect me to answer this question? would you allow me to submit the answer double-spaced, times new roman, size 12 font?
unlike yourself, i don’t have ulterior motives or a significant other i forgot to mention. the reason i won’t fck you is because my level of respect for you is still in the negatives. as guided by the rules of amusement parks, your respect level is not high enough to ride this ride. and plus, if you have to ask, obviously you’re doing something wrong.

“i just want to put it in once.”
seriously, does someone actually fall for this? because every time i hear this line, i can’t help but feel that my intelligence is being insulted. so you’ve been trying for the past 15 minutes to try to fck me but you’re only going to put it in once and then pull out? yeah, okay. nice try.

so mr. big shot, it seems that even after the x amount of years of being alive, you still haven’t grasped the concept of the word “no”. just in case you didn’t know, it does not mean “please force your hands down my pants”, “please try to take off my bra”, “please try to dry hump my leg”, or “please show me your penis”. now that you’ve been taught the formal meaning of “no”, let me also provide you with a supplemental lesson on the meaning of borderline rape.

since your attempts were unsuccessful, why do you go ahead and attempt to attack me emotionally because that’s definitely going to work. for instance, you can proceed by calling women needy and insecure? then continue to assume that the only reason why i won’t have sex with you is because i’m afraid of being too easy? well now, isn’t that the icing on the cake? it can’t possibly be because i’m not attracted to you.

i honestly did not know that going out for drinks or dinner was an unspoken agreement for the exchange of sex. because the amount of shock and betrayal exhibited on their face indicates that i had clearly violated my end of the deal.

“out of sight, out of mind” does not work with your misogynistic attitude. learn how to man the fck up and stop being little btch because you finally met a girl who won’t fall for your bullsht.

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the wonderful world of dating – part two

being an girl is tough. being a korean girl is tougher.

2. “i love kimchi!”

i hate when guys use the culture card. it’s as if we’re playing pictionary and he’s guessing the first few words that come to his mind when the word “korea” pops up. dude, you’re just scaring me. stop.

let’s start with the word “kimchi”.
i don’t know why people think it’s a big deal that they can eat it. cause it’s really not. it’s a dish of spicy fermented vegetables. a fcking side dish. it’s just there on the table, like salt and pepper.

if it’s not kimchi, honorary mention goes to bibimbap/soondubu/galbi.
“i’ll take you to koreatown to get some *insert random korean dish*”
btch please. i rather go by myself. and plus, i like pizza.
it’s almost as if they’re expecting me to award them with an entry to a massage parlor with happy endings just because they can eat korean food.

to make matters worse, he’ll bust out some random words.
“ahnyoung!” “saranghae” “nuh yaebbo”
first off, be respectful and add “-hasaeyo/-yo”.
secondly, you think you’re cute, huh?
it’s as cute as a 300 pd woman wearing a bikini. please stop.
it’s also quite obvious that your hearing is impaired because you can’t hear that i’ve been speaking english this whole time.

a conversation with the kimchi loving, butchered korean speaking man would usually begin with the following dialogue:

“where are you from?”
new york

“no, i mean where are your parents from?”
new jersey

“no, i mean country.”
…usa

it’s as if being american is not good enough that i have to belong to another country. if you must insist, i’m korean american, but why does that matter?

is it because you’d like to make the conversation interesting and ask me if i’m from the north or south? why don’t you make it even more interesting and ask me if korean men are abusive?

instead why don’t you please go ahead and ask me the ultimate question:
“is it true that asian girls are kinky?”
every time i hear this question, the feeling i get is equivalent to walking into a room while an old man is fondling a child. you’re just left speechless in disgust while standing there in shock trying to understand what is happening in front of your very eyes.

moral of the post is that when people resort to stereotypes it’s fcking condescending and violating. be yourself and keep the cultural comments to yourself.

to my kimchi loving, butchered korean speaking man, please do me a favor and stay away from me because i don’t need a green card and most importantly i ain’t got time for that.

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the wonderful world of dating – part one

the dating world is a scary place not because of the process, but because of the people.

1. “i like to have conversations with myself”

you go out, meet new people, exchange numbers, friend-zone the poor dude, and repeat. nothing scary about that until you come across one of those men who just don’t get it. and by “it” i mean the ones who like to have conversations with themselves after you tell them “hey dude, i’m not interested, please leave me alone”. i’m not even being nice at this point.

these creepy crawlers are everywhere. if you don’t give them your number, they’ll find you on facebook, if you’re not on facebook, they’ll find you on instagram. sometimes you don’t even have to ever meet them in person, cause they’ll just find you.

the worst part of the whole ordeal is that you’re deceived into the conversation thinking it’s a harmless “hi”, lowering your guard to the disaster that is to come. it’s as if the weather report indicated clear skies and sunshine, but instead stepping outside your apartment to a dark and stormy hurricane and then getting slapped in the face by a tree branch.
like what the fck?

you can’t even block them because you’re not friends with them in the first place. and even when you can block them, it’s just a nuisance having to go out of your way because this one guy just doesn’t get the message even after spelling it out.

when someone isn’t interested, just let it go. that “persistence leads to success” need not apply here. please apply it to your career.

if i don’t answer you after 4 questions in a row, please take the hint that i’m ignoring you on purpose. that does not mean “please send me a 6 page text message about your life story” or “please continue your creepy ass conversation”. if you were the last man on earth, i will fck all the animals before i even consider talking to you again, yet you still don’t get it and continue to message me.


these are real consecutive messages from the same person and i have never replied once.

 

“How bout we do that thing you were too busy to do on Valentine’s Day? Spring is in the air and you know, time for rebirth and new things in life.”

ignore.

“fast forward a few months and say that after we met and liked each other and things fell into place.. would we get a puppy or a kitten?”

creepy. ignore.

“I need more interaction from you”

oh really? because i need less from you. ignore.

“I wanna know what you like and find out what we have in common and where I should take you on vacations and stuff like that”

this is how people get murdered by serial killers. ignore.

“I dreamt of a Korean girl last night. She was very purrty and seemed kinda sweet, she said she was in love with me. Reminded me of you, was it you?”

definitely not me. ignore.

“why do you have to make my life so difficult. you know you’re curious as to who I am and you really wanna meet me but are afraid of something… what are u afraid of?”

i’m really not. ignore.

“Hey Nadia, do you know where one can get the most tasty bibimbop in the city?”

after all of your creepy messages, even this message sounds creepy. ignore.

dating sucks.

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